How To: Antique My Mom

Antique My Mom

How To Antique My Mom

Step 1 The Motivation

So, I want the Jackass guys to antique my mom. Plain and simple, she bakes terrible cakes. They're horrible. And the only solution I have dreamed up is to destroy her flour supply.

Step 2 The Surprise

I'd prefer to spring this white-out surprise on her, when she least expects it. Ideally, we corner her at Whole Foods or maybe when she's walking out of church. Church is probably the best idea, as I can plan that ahead of time. Sunday, noon, town green. Done.

Step 3 Make it Stick

Everyone knows the key to a good antiquing is the proper application of a sticky solution. I suggest we drench my mom in milk, egg whites or a good drum of vegetable oil--- to keep with the baking theme.


I've done this before and my main hangups have been supply-based. I always think a 5lb bag is adequate, when in truth antiquing requires a whole buttload of flour..... I'm going to go to Costco for this one.

We need the whole team, too. I need at least five guys.... tall ones.

Hope I win.... Her cookies suck!

Want to master Microsoft Excel and take your work-from-home job prospects to the next level? Jump-start your career with our Premium A-to-Z Microsoft Excel Training Bundle from the new Gadget Hacks Shop and get lifetime access to more than 40 hours of Basic to Advanced instruction on functions, formula, tools, and more.

Buy Now (97% off) >

Other worthwhile deals to check out:

Join the Next Reality AR Community

Get the latest in AR — delivered straight to your inbox.

1 Comment

Why would you do this to your mom?

Share Your Thoughts