Donuts

Go to a place where they sell donuts. Buy a whole bunch of different kinds. Leave the store and come back like 30 minutes later, with all the donuts squooshed. Go to the counter and demand to get your money back because the donuts "didn't work". Tell them you went to the doctors for your hemroids and they said to get donuts and sit on them. ( they meant the pillow thing). lol.